Sunday, November 13, 2005

Part 1:- My Journey to Islam.


I reverted to Islam 21 months ago, that's nearly 2 years now, and it has been a total life changing experience. So for someone entering the autumn years, it's an interesting place to be. Having had to cope with feeling out of place all my life, it's nothing new, in any case.

I guess the problem was, I was a thinking child. I can't remember how deep, I don't think children gauge that sort of thing, I just thought and asked questions, driving mum crazy. Always religious and weird, other kids always avoided me. Hounded in the playground, I learned to keep myself to myself and lived in a world of my own. My parents thought I adjusted well to moving about as we did, from Perth, to Adelaide, to Sydney -Fairfield, Toowoomba QLD, back to Adelaide, Maryborough QLD, etc, etc.....There were 5 of us children, but we coped in ways that is hidden from us, and only Allah knows. So religion (Roman Catholic) and reading were my life and sanity savers.

I could not conceive of a God that was divided into 3 persons, AT ALL. It was stupid and illogical so was worshipping Mary as the Mother of god!!! As for worshipping the saints??? All left a bad taste in my mouth though I did admire them as examples for humanity, that is until I learned they were not as they seemed.

Moving on in life and various states of mind, wading through religious idealogies, I formed a solid and developing base for my belief system.

1. ....One God.

2. ....Heaven and Hell.

3. ....Charity in thought and deed

(a) do well to others

(b) compassion

4. ....Prayer.

The New Church (General Church of the New Jerusalem) was the Church I joined when I turned 18, and where I met my first husband. The writings of Emanuel Swedenborg, was the basis of my philosophy for my life and helped me considerably to understand the deeper meaning for my questing mind. I married when I was 25 and basically naive. I still knew it would be no bed of roses, but did not realise it would be so heartrendingly, sad. I did have moments of happiness, but they got very few and far between. But I would still do it all again, if I had to, for my children. I was the little things in life that kept me going, like a cup of tea or the sun shining on the leaves of a tree, reminding me of the Lord.

I became intolerant of people who hurt others, especially children; people who were rude and peopeople who filled their minds with the trivial things of life.... But most of all, INJUSTICE.... Injustice left me with a burning deep inside me, and it made me want to change things somehow. I didn't know how, but just that I wanted to.

Then 10 years after my divorce to my first husband, I married my present husband who is the antithesis of my first. And who brought love and understanding into my life, which had by that time, become unbearable. I was alone, without my children, having lost them to the custody of my ex-husband after becoming ill.

Rana, introduced me to Islam, by just explaining to me why sometimes he would wash his hands or some other little thing. So, without telling him anything about it, I explored Islam myself on the internet to read the Qur'an and other Islamic articles. The turning point for me was when I read what the Qur'an said about marriage and married couples. It was so beautiful, tears ran down my face. I was convinced....I told him the next day that I wanted to become Muslim..

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

From a Sad Place.


Strange title you think? Well, I think not. It hasn't been the best of weeks, when people don't want to seem to know you. I had some dental surgery done, consequently in a "down" at the moment. Everything is at a distance at the moment, I can't seem to connect to anyone.